Illustrated Epistle Extract: How to Have a Great Party

June 30, 2021

I celebrated the shortest day by going for a very brief swim in the harbour. It lasted two minutes. You can get very cold in two minutes and even a flask of hot chocolate wasn’t enough to bring the blood back to my fingers for a good hour.

The other thing we did to banish the winter blues was to have a sparkly soirée. 39 people plus a dog fitted into our little house and it was tremendous fun. It’s the biggest party Duncan and I have had and we learned a few things from it.

how to have a midwinter party lights.png

1. Brighten up the house with candles and lots of fairy lights (bought secondhand or borrowed from friends), but make sure your ancient electrics can handle all the lights being turned on at once.

2. Solar powered outside lights are great for decorating the front of the house unless the sun hardly comes out because it has rained all week and the batteries run out of power before the party has started. I had to charge them up inside.

3. Make a note of what food people bring so that you can thank them when you eat it later. I have no idea who made the little caramel tarts but they were delicious.

4. Hide the remote for the smart TV.If it took you weeks to make the perfect Spotify playlist, you don’t want to give control to your friends when they’re drunk.

5. Leave tea, coffee, mugs, sugar, etc out by the kettle before the party starts. You’ll be in no state to make people tea and coffee towards the end and guests will try to do it themselves.

This is an extract of my Illustrated Epistle, which goes out once a month-ish. It is a behind-the-scenes look at the life of a cartoonist (specifically, mine). I'd love it if you signed up at the bottom of this page, or here:

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Illustrated Epistle Extract: To Be or Not to Be a Tomboy

May 3, 2021

I missed much of the 19/20 summer in New Zealand because of building the studio and I decided that I would make the most of the 20/21 season by aiming for

This meant trying to swim, surf, paddle board, or find some other way to immerse myself in salt water for 100 days (not consecutively). I also tried to wear either a skirt or a dress, as I tend to wear jeans, trousers or shorts as they have lots of pockets. And I’m a tomboy. Apparently that isn’t a word we should use these days. But us tomboys ignore woke dictates like that. I cherish the word because it’s how I’ve thought of myself since I was about seven years old. My first professional cartooning job was a topical panel called Tomboy (my drawing style and the internet have changed somewhat in 20 years).

Do you think I’m allowed to own the word, tomboy, the way that black people own the word white people can never say? Hmmmn.

Anyway... I decided to make an effort for summer by wearing more skirts and dresses. Though their pockets are often feeble or non-existent, they are handy when you are changing in and out of swimming togs. Kiwis are prudish when it comes to nudity and you can’t do the Spanish thing and whip everything off and on to change at the beach. Instead it is awkward under-the-towel manoeuvering.

I completed my hundred days this month and now I’m in denial that summer is over. Technically NZ summer ended on 20th March, but the fine weather continued like summer without the wind. It has only been in the last week or so I’ve realised that I need to get a grip. It really isn’t summer any more and I have to knuckle down and get some work done. Maybe after I finish building the deck around the studio. Or after I’ve done my taxes…

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Living in New Zealand: Alps2Ocean on an Ordinary Bike: Day 7: Duntroon to Oamaru

April 13, 2021

It was another overcast day but with clear views over the hills.

Most of the day’s trail goes through farmland and is dominated by introduced species like these beautiful birches.

You can see how Elephant rocks got their name.

It is worth taking the time to walk among the rocks. They reminded me of the standing stones in Avebury, England.

Water and wind has carved patterns in the limestone.

Echo corner. I stopped and tried it out. It works.

Dairy country. Too many nutrients in the water cause algal blooms which can be toxic so rivers aren’t swimmable.

The dairy and irrigation industries sponsor these signs that are laughable when you look at the state of the waterways you are riding near.

A climb up a gravel road rewards you with the first view of the ocean.

Heavy rains earlier in the year had washed out some of the track.

I ended the trip by throwing in the stone I’d brought from Tekapo into Friendly Bay and following it in.

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Started at 8:40 am and arrived at 2:30, with about 4 hrs in saddle. One of the more demanding days of the trail, but rewarding (though the only swimmable part is at the end).

Sue came down to meet me and we headed to a local bar with our partners.

Our arrival in Oamaru coincided with their Jazz and Blues Festival. We enjoyed listening (and dancing!) to these guys before we headed back to the backpackers (The band was Oscar LaDell and Hoot)

After a night at the backpackers ($100 for a double room), I went for a wild swim at Bushy Bay, watched only by a couple of seals on the beach.

Then it was off to the Oamaru farmers market (on a Sunday) to stock up before heading back.

We packed up Gertie for the trip home (I’m glad she survived as well as my bike. You can see what Duncan’s parallel fishing trip was like at his blog here: https://localfoodhound.wordpress.com/2021/03/28/mackenzie-country-adventure/).

Living in New Zealand: Alps2Ocean on an Ordinary Bike: Day 6: Kurow to Duntroon

April 12, 2021

Had a coffee and a cheese scone at Wild Sage Cafe which didn’t open until 10am. It was a good day to start late, as it was a cold overcast damp morning. Then it was a nice easy track along the Waitaki River and through the vineyard.

It was interesting crossing wide dried riverbeds that must be a sight to see in flood like in January. I wonder if they would be dry in autumn if there wasn’t so much water extracted for irrigation.

There were a couple of crossings of dry river beds.

This area of the trail is dominated by limestone escarpments, some of which are decorated with Maori drawings. The rock art site at Takiroa is a good spot for lunch, away from the road and the smell of cow shit and silage.

Heavily irrigated dairy farming is also more evident and the limestone and gravels drain into aquifers and rivers.

At least the local iwi are now working with farmers to riparian plant and improve the water. You can see results with more bird life on the last section. Though most of the banks of the river are still choked with willow.

Good to see planting of natives on the left to prevent run off from the pasture on the right

Duntroon wetland is a definite highlight just before the end of the day’s pedalling. Amazing to see it thriving though surrounded by intensive dairying.